Today I went to the Vets. I couldn't let Lily go without something to remember her by. When I saw her, she looked peaceful. Amanda and I had brought some clay, and we got an imprint of her hoof. I also cut her forelock, and a few peices of hair from her mane.
I have an amazing wife. She came with me, and we both had our hearts leak together. Lily has left an enormous hole that will not be filled anytime soon.
As I drove away, I held the locks of her hair in my hand, and in a way, I felt peace. I'm still a wreck, but for a small moment, I knew that she was okay when she left me. She knew that I'd done all I could and stayed with her. It's heart breaking to think of losing her and her baby, but I think time will heal this wound.
Today I brought Pam up and brushed her all out. I think Pam knows what happened. She has not called at all for Lily, and she has been very peaceful today. I think she knows that Lily is gone, and she has accepted it. In a way, I feel a bond with her now, because when I got home from church, she came running over to me (something odd) and making lots of noise. When I didn't see Lily, I got concerned, and Pam walked with me right to where she was. Maybe this is the start of something.
I am so sorry to hear of you loosing Lily. When I was young we lost our mare Bonnie. Its one of the hardest parts of being a horse person. I had just found your web site and was so enjoying reading your blogs. Definately bringing back memoories of my days back on the farm. Keep working now with Pam as that will help heal the loss, and keep writing. Thanks for the memories.
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